Discerning with Creative Courage
Photo: Shahariar Lenin, Pixaby
by Stephanie Peirolo, CSJP-A
“The first thing I learned at the clinic was never to run. You only run if it’s a medical emergency.”
My oldest friend and I are talking a few days after 19 children and two teachers were shot to death in their elementary school in Uvalde, Texas. My friend works as a mental health specialist with school children in rural Washington State.
“When I saw a teacher running across the lawn towards me, my first thought was, it’s happening again,” she says.
This time, the teacher wasn’t running from a shooter. She was running to talk to my friend about a kid who was struggling. They’re all struggling: children, families, teachers, staff, administration, maybe that was why her body moved her forward with more urgency.
If the current trends hold, by the time you read this, there will be dozens more dead of gunshot wounds, killed in schools, synagogues, grocery stores. Maybe hundreds will die. But it is unlikely there will be any real action on gun laws, even though reasonable reforms are supported by a majority of Americans.
Many of us are grieving and overwhelmed by the relentless news of violence, racism, injustice, abuse of creation. The toll of white supremacy, capitalism, and patriarchy are heavy.
What do we do? What do I do?
In a recent presentation at the Washington State Nonprofit Conference, LaShawn Routé Chatmon, Executive Director of the National Equity Project, said, “Oppression creates fear of change. Succumbing to fear quells creativity. We must act courageously to imagine possibilities beyond the confines of dominant culture.”
She went on to talk about creative courage. “Every human is creative. Creative courage allows us to push through self-doubt and creative fragility so we can design bravely against oppression.”
Years ago, I went through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. I often turn to the framework of discernment to explore ways of making decisions that open us up to the still small voice of God, to the unexpected promptings of the Spirit. We’re so used to using our intellect to chart a course of action, that we miss the wisdoms of our body, our imagination, our souls.
For me, the essence of discernment is listening. Not just to the Divine, but also to the longings of our hearts, our bodies, our imaginations, which bear the imprint of the Divine design.
Once we begin to hear, we can be creative with that information. In discernment I try to stay grounded in reality but open to options.
The concept of “creative courage” resonates especially now, when I am overwhelmed by the sense that my actions, individually or collectively, cannot be effective, or will not be enough. That fear stops my ears.
The story that we cannot, as individuals, community, collective or country, fight the evils of white supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism is a lie. The system wants us to be overwhelmed. Inaction and paralysis are the goal.
The engine of social media is anger and outrage. Those corporations are monetizing greed and aggression for profit, telling the lie that posting about something counts as social justice work. The lie that says the real, small actions we take in the actual world can’t amount to anything. As the writer and activist Sonya Renee Taylor suggested in a talk, a group of white billionaires are trying to convince us to build an alternative reality in the metaverse and stop thinking about the actual world and the real people in it. And, as she points out, we are to build it for them, to use our imagination and passions and energy to build the false worlds that make them rich.
Small actions, one person helping another, matter deeply. People use the phrase “baby steps” to indicate a first, hesitant, small movement. Inconsequential, just a beginning.
But that’s not actually how babies start walking. It is not timid. They move boldly from one dimension to another, standing up and lurching forward, driven by the imperative to walk, to move forward. What if we believe that every movement toward justice, however inexpert or hesitant, matters?
I am saying no to the inner critic that has internalized the lie that nothing I can do will make a difference, that nothing can change. I am turning to discernment with a new understanding of the importance of creative courage. What is my baby step? What is the next thing I can start doing that is going to help? What can we as a community, as a society, do to move ahead, lurching unsteadily forward, falling and getting up again?
My daughter worked as an ICU nurse at the height of the pandemic. She also told me that you never run in a hospital unless it’s an emergency. If she saw another nurse running, she and the others immediately reacted, turning to help, their bodies moving by instinct, running.
Now is the emergency. Teachers, elderly black shoppers, nurses, rabbis, schoolchildren are running for their lives. How can we help them? How can we, together and alone, find the courage to design bravely against oppression?
Vocational Discernment: How do I know what to do?
Frame the question you want answered. Carry it with you, in prayer, meditation, conversation. Be patient. Get familiar with the weight of your inquiry and notice how it changes over time.
Access other ways of knowing besides intellect. What do you dream of at night? What comes up in your body? What kind of art or music catches your attention in a special way? If you are considering a course of action, imagine it, deeply, and note what you experience.
Honor resistance. When resistance arises, notice it. Are there narratives attached to the resistance? Ask if the narratives that are holding you back are real or someone else’s story. Take the time to work with the stories until you can understand which are your truth and which come from systems and structures that are not for your flourishing.
Trust that an answer will come. Wait faithfully, patient and attentive.
This article appeared in the Summer 2022 issue of Living Peace.