Fresh Voices: Journey to an Authentic Heart
by Rita Loren
Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14
In Christianity, the heart symbolizes the center or core of our being, from which prayer and moral actions originate. The word “core” is derived from the Latin word cor, meaning, “heart.” When we think about human struggles, we can look at different philosophies.
The ancient Romans and Greeks believed that the great human struggle was between a person’s mind and emotions. They believed that, if you wanted to achieve something in life, you had to learn to sublimate your emotions to attain a goal. The Bible has taught me that the greatest human struggles happen within our hearts, struggles resolved through faith rather than intellectual facts. The greatest battles involving our fears, loves, ideas, hopes and trust – are all seated in our heart.
I am a first-generation Italian woman who was raised in a devoutly Catholic home by blue-collar parents who worked tirelessly to raise three children. We endured many turbulent times. I am fortunate in that I have never forgotten or lost my faith throughout those times. In fact, and despite pain and countless disappointments on my journey to date, such events have only brought me much closer to God. I have often heard his soothing whispers and have felt his gentle hands on my shoulders during the hardest challenges.
It was that faith that helped me find my own voice when it was being drowned out by a sea of doubt and fear. While in the closet, I was the “most popular” heterosexual girl in high school, never without a date to a dance or a party. My “truth” shocked many, foremostly my family, who always envisioned their overachiever married to a loving, accomplished male. Now I was the talk of the town, not for being popular, instead, the subject of hurtful rumors for many years. Like many gay people or anyone designated as “other,” I endured the negative whispers and awkward glances that replaced joyful hellos from people I had not seen for some time. I did not have a crisis of faith, but I did question where I fit. I was living a dual life, and it was exhausting. The beginning of my transformation was certainly not easy for several years, nor was it easy for those that always loved me. Still, I will say this, what never changed was my faith in God.
The journey to an authentic life is often arduous, but the genuine love and freedom it brings is worth it. When I look back at it, I am often amazed at the endless love, acceptance, and transformation that has occurred with time, not only within the people closest to me, but from society as a whole. You see, real life changing transformation often takes time, but it also takes grace, which for me, begins in the heart, listening to what the heart has to say. Once we are able to truly grasp and embrace change in our hearts, we can love more fully. We can love more freely. We can live and love without judgement.
This Congregation was founded on a charism of peace through justice, which demands an ongoing rigorous examination of behavior through prayer, contemplation and just action that fosters peace. Most of the articles in Living Peace are written by sisters or associates. In this issue, we are introducing a feature called Fresh Voices, in which we hope to raise awareness by seeing through the eyes of someone outside the CSJP community.
This article appeared in the Spring 2021 issue of Living Peace.